Most couples
know how to argue.
Few know how
to negotiate.
After nearly 30 years as a negotiator and almost two decades helping couples through divorce, Joe Dillon wrote the book he wishes every couple had read before they ended up in his office. How to Win at Marriage shows couples how to get what they need without losing each other in the process.
Coming Fall 2027
He's seen how marriages end. Now he's teaching couples how to stay together.
Joe Dillon has spent nearly two decades in rooms where marriages end, which gave him an unusually clear view of exactly how they go wrong. As co-founder and lead mediator of Equitable Mediation Services, he has helped more than 1,000 couples navigate one of the hardest transitions of their lives.
Somewhere along the way, he started noticing the patterns. The same failure modes, over and over. The same missed signals. The same conversations that happened too late, or not at all. And he started asking: what if couples had these tools before things fell apart?
That question became How to Win at Marriage, a practical, field-tested guide to negotiating the everyday decisions of married life.
What a divorce mediator knows that most married couples don't.
Whether you're asking for a guys' trip to Vegas or telling your spouse you got a job offer in another city, the hard part usually isn't the request. It's how you ask, how you listen, and what you're willing to give. Here's a taste of what's inside.
"Every successful negotiation makes a deposit into your Marriage Bank. Over time, those deposits build a relationship strong enough to handle anything." Joe Dillon
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Finally. A practical book for couples who don't need saving, just better tools.
Most marriage books are written for couples in crisis. This one isn't. How to Win at Marriage: A Divorce Mediator’s Guide to Staying Together is for couples who have a good foundation but feel like they miss each other more often than they connect. Couples who are tired of the same argument recycling every few weeks, who know they love each other but somehow keep getting the important moments wrong.
Part negotiation masterclass, part comedy of errors, the book follows couples through the moments where marriages are made or broken, and teaches practical tools that change how you ask, listen, and respond.
Practical, funny, and deeply human. The negotiation book your marriage has been waiting for.
Fair warning: your audience will want to go home and try this immediately.
Joe speaks to audiences who are already invested in the health of relationships: couples, clinicians, and communities who understand that a strong marriage doesn't happen by accident. It happens by design.
Couples & Marriage Enrichment
Retreats, marriage education programs, faith community events, and couples workshops. Joe brings the tools from How to Win at Marriage to life with humor, honesty, and stories every couple will recognize immediately.
Mental Health & Wellness Professionals
Therapists, counselors, social workers, and clinicians who work with couples benefit from practical negotiation tools their clients can actually use. Ideal for association conferences, CE events, and professional development days.
Divorce & Family Law Professionals
Mediators, collaborative divorce attorneys, and divorce financial advisors. Joe speaks as a peer, with 30 years in negotiation and nearly two decades in the room, on what actually moves couples from conflict to resolution.
Ready to bring How to Win at Marriage to your audience?
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Thirty years of real deals, real rooms, real outcomes.
Joe brings nearly three decades of entrepreneurial and professional experience into the classroom, not as theory but as lived practice. His teaching style is direct, case-based, and relentlessly practical.
He serves as Executive in Residence at CSU San Marcos and has taught 40-hour mediation certification courses at NJAPM and Northwestern. He has trained 200+ mediation practitioners, presented at professional conferences, developed youth entrepreneurship curricula for the Boys & Girls Club, designed a peer mediation program for The Hun School of Princeton, and guest-lectured at Drexel University.
His students leave with frameworks they can use the same day.
Negotiation
Interest-based bargaining, power dynamics, cross-cultural negotiation, and ethics, grounded in training from Harvard, MIT, and Northwestern plus 30 years of live practice.
Entrepreneurship
From co-founding four businesses to pioneering virtual service delivery in 2011. Firsthand, practical, and honest about what business school doesn't cover.
Business Strategy
A unique perspective from corporate transformation (IEEE: $8M to $130M in five years) and building a multi-state professional services practice from scratch.
Conflict Resolution
Draws on nearly two decades at the mediation table to bring conflict resolution to life through case-based learning and real-world practice.
Let's figure out if Joe is the right fit for your audience.
Whether you're planning a couples retreat, a mental health conference, or a professional development event, Joe is available for keynotes, workshops, and panel appearances.
Speaking inquiries, media requests, and academic opportunities welcome.
Looking for divorce mediation services?
Joe's virtual practice serves couples in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington, with a 98% case resolution rate.